Notes from Underground
October 28th, 2008
Shame is important to study and understand because it is, one, a shared experience and because it is the most primordial emotion. Second, the tendency to avoid experiences that trigger shame and the contradictory tendency to replicate shame based relationships represents the paradox that drives much of the neurotic aspects of human relationships.
October 29th, 2008
To undestand shame as a concept one must understand the psychoanalytic principals that define the human experience. According to Freud and his successors before developing a snese of self, a small child is unaware that he/she is a separate entity than its caregiver. The illusion of unity is maintained until the child realizes he/she may not continue to receive affection and care. The child realizes that their needs may be left unfulfilled. Therefore, the formation of the ego is as a result of the painful realization that one is separate from one’s caregiver. The flames of this early abondonment forge the edges of our sense of self. This abandonment is an experience shared by all, it is a part of the shared human experience.
October 29th, 2008
The feeling of shame, therefore, is not so much a feeling that is created through experience. Instead, it is one that is remembered or unearthed from our past. As is characteristic to humans, we spend a significant amount of time and resources (consciously and unconsciously) avoiding shame and also recreating situations that resonate with this painful memory.
